


Breath of Fresh Air

by kuroyaku



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Conquest Route, Gen, very vague anxiety but still enough to be mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 12:22:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7268053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuroyaku/pseuds/kuroyaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Xander starts to feel like his lungs are in his throat he likes to ground himself, and what better way to do that than to run his fingers through some soil at the bed of a tree.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breath of Fresh Air

**Author's Note:**

> Set during chapter 18 of conquest: Black and White, where both Hoshido and Nohr royalty come together for a banquet under Izana's roof. 
> 
> Something about how Xander regarded Ryoma after this chapter had me thinking : What if they actually got a chance to speak to each other without their siblings around? 
> 
> There's mild depiction of anxiety in this fic so heads up with that

It wasn’t long into the banquet that Xander felt the walls were closing in on him. He had managed to ignore it for a good while, avoiding Camilla’s concerned gaze when she did a quick headcount of how many people they didn’t know were there. Heck, he’d even managed to avoid Leo’s less concealed, more obvious show of concern with his question; “Brother, your hands are shaking, are you well? Is something wrong?” but there was only so much he could keep under control before his breaths started to catch in his throat and his cheeks started to burn like scalded with hot water from a teapot. He stood, excusing himself with a bow and a polite nod at Izana and made haste towards the way they came out from. 

 

Hallways and paths blurred into one foreign maze before he could see two armed men stood guarding an exit. He straightened up, one hand on the walls as he stepped past the two men to the outside, almost collapsing with relief when he felt cool air on his cheeks.

 

“Prince Xander, sir? Is everything quite alright?” 

 

Xander turned to where the voice came from, offering a small smile to his retainer. 

 

“Yes, although I appreciate your concern, Laslow.” He glanced over at the two men, checking they weren’t listening, before turning back to Laslow and continuing. “It was just… the room was very warm.”

 

Laslow nodded and offered a small smile to mirror Xander’s. “Understandable, my lord. Is there anything you need me to do? I can get you a drink of water, if you wish?”

 

“No no, that’s a job for a maid or a butler, and you are neither. I’ll return soon, no need to worry. Why are you out here?” Xander replied, and Laslow looked sheepish.

 

“Well, uh- very much the same reason as you, Milord. Crowds tend to make my stomach lurch, not to mention Prince Ryoma’s right hand man was giving me an extremely hostile look. I know there’s a peace treaty in place here but I felt his look could kill.” Laslow supplied, wringing his hands and Xander let a laugh slip from his throat before he could stop it.

 

“I wouldn’t put it past him, if I were honest. Seems the type of person to stand beside Lord Ryouma.”

 

“And you would know that well, would you, Milord?” Laslow said, a smirk tugging at his lips.

 

“Excuse me?” Xander shot back, but it was without aggression. Laslow merely smiled, and bowed graciously.

 

“Nothing, Milord. I should be getting back to the banquet, keeping an eye on Peri- the same old routine.” He replied and left, a skip in his step. Xander watched him until he couldn’t see him no more, and then turned to the large tree bordered by a ledge before him. He sat down on the brick wall and pressed his fingers into the soft soil covering the roots of what looked to be a cherry blossom tree. He wasn’t sure- they didn’t have many trees that had flowers on them back in the Nohr capital.

 

He sat in silence for a while, before it was disturbed by the sound of footsteps. He froze up and turned to the doorway, expecting it to be Camilla, or worse, Elise, ready to drag him back inside.

 

Instead he was met with the surprised expression of Prince of Hoshido, Lord Ryouma. 

 

His spare hand darted to his belt where Siegfried was holstered, and Lord Ryouma smirked. 

 

“Don’t fret, High prince of Nohr. The treaty still stands, even when Izana isn’t near to remind me. Or you, for that matter.” He said the last sentence with his eyes on Xander’s hand, and Xander dropped his fingers to his side again. 

 

“You can’t fault me for being on guard. My retainer commented on how yours looked ready to kill.” Xander countered, and Ryouma let out an amused huff.

 

“Saizo? He’s like that with his brother at times. It’s in his nature. Besides, your retainer didn’t seem too bothered by it. Last I saw of him he was being very friendly to a few maidens in the hallway.”

 

Xander fought the urge to roll his eyes or rub at his temples. He pulled his fingers from the soil and roots, brushing them against his thighs. Ryouma’s eyes followed his actions, part cautious, part curious. 

 

“There’s a surprise.”

 

There was a moment of pregnant silence, before Ryouma went to step forward then froze. He looked as if he wanted to speak.

 

“Are you going to attempt to draw your blade if I step off this threshold?” He asked, and Xander could feel the amusement in his words. Xander gestured to the courtyard with his hand, forcing his hands to not move. He could feel the burn on his cheeks return, his fingers feeling light and weak. He instead focused his attention on Lord Ryouma walking towards the tree he was sat underneath. He watched him reach out to one of the lower hanging branches and fought against a snort when he saw he was reaching up, standing on his toes to brush his fingers over the petals.

 

“Rare to see sakura blossom this late in the year.” Hearing Lord Ryouma’s voice so close to him made his skin itch and he swallowed, turning to look away.

 

“Is that so.” He managed, and straightened his back, his hand clenching into a fist. He berated himself for letting this rule him- he’d stepped out to escape it, not for it to get worse.

 

“It’s a spring bloom. If I remember correctly it’s currently closer to autumn than summer.”

 

“You remember correctly.”

 

“You’re not one for conversation, are you?”

 

Xander turned to stare at him, taken aback. “Did you really just bring up the fact that I’m not much of a conversationalist when we’re both holding swords to the others necks outside of these borders?”

 

Ryouma looked away from the branch of blossom to Xander. “We’re inside of those borders at this moment.”

 

“So you propose we just put aside all that for, for… for what? For a talk on agriculture and its seasonal change?”

 

“For Corrin.”

 

Ryouma’s words caught Xander off guard. He remembered Corrin’s words when they first came eye to eye with Hoshidan nobles, and he could only stare for a moment before nodding. 

 

“For Corrin.”

 

“So,” Ryouma turned his attention back to the tree. “We don’t actually have to talk about agriculture. We could instead talk about why you’re out here, and not back in there with the rest of your family.”

 

“It was too hot.” Xander replied, not leaving room for more questions. He accepted being civil to the man, but he wasn’t about to divulge his personal life to him. Chances are one of the other would be pointing a blade at the other soon enough. “You could ask the same about yourself.”

 

“Do you think,” The man turned to him, a stern look on his face, and for a brief second Xander felt his instincts screaming at him. “That it’s easy to sit in a room filled to the brim with people with armor like this on your person?” 

 

Xander shocked the two by bursting out laughing, eyes wide in surprise at both what Lord Ryouma had said and at himself. He opened his mouth to retaliate, and was interrupted by a familiar voice.

 

“Oh, this is unexpected.”

 

Camilla stood at the door, her curious gaze flitting from Xander to the other prince and back again. Xander stood immediately, straightening up again and leveling her with a serious look.

 

“Camilla? What is it- is everything okay? Is Corrin okay?” Ryouma seemed to straighten as well at the mention of their mutual sibling, but Camilla merely smiled warmly.

 

“Nothing to fear, brother. Izana is about to give another speech, and I had guessed I’d find you here. Surprised to find Lord Ryouma beside you, however.”

 

Xander hurried towards her, averting his gaze as his face warmed. “I suppose I should be getting back inside then. Nothing worse than not being present for a host’s speech.” Without another word to either of them he walked back inside. He could hear Camilla following him, her footsteps slow compared to his hurried ones. He spied Laslow, still entertaining a few women just up ahead in the hallway and he grabbed him by the cuff off his shirt as they passed, dragging him off with him.

 

“Hey- Oh! Milord! Is it time to leave?” 

 

“No, there’s a speech, and I think we should all be there for it. That means you too.”

 

“Of course, if you could just let go of my- Is that Lord Ryouma following up behind us? He looks quite scary if you ask me- Ow!” Laslow cried out as Xander let go off his cuff and he almost tripped, doing his best to avoid bumping into Camilla. “Wait- was he outside with you? Did he threaten you, Milord? Do I need to tell Peri?”

 

Xander glared at Laslow and waved his hand. “Everything is fine, I don’t need back up for anything. We just- We talked.”

 

“About what?”

 

“Flowers.” He said, stepping back into the room, and he missed the shared look of surprise between Camilla and Laslow.

 

“Flowers, huh? Who knew Lord Xander had a gentler side. And that it would rear it’s head whilst talking to the enemy.”

  
Camilla smiled to herself. “Mhmm. Who knew indeed.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> YE A i kno it ends on an awkward note i havent written anything in like 60 years, please forgive me


End file.
